Fantastic Mr. Stokes

 

Hear that on repeat at least three times before you proceed any further. It’s of utmost importance. The importance of you doing that can’t be overstated. The mission if you choose to accept is to follow everything I say.

Last Saturday evening, lord lord lord
Last Saturday evening, lord lord lord

I went to the stadium, lord lord lord
I went to the stadium, lord lord lord

And I took along my placard, lord lord lord
I took along my placard, lord lord lord

Along came Jesus, lord lord lord
Along came Jesus, lord lord lord

So I picked up my placard, lord lord lord
And he hit one over, lord lord lord

He was bowled soon after, lord lord lord
But he had done enough, lord lord lord

He came on to bowl, lord lord lord
And he took a wicket first up, lord lord lord

He took another wicket, lord lord lord
And he took another wicket, lord lord lord

The main batsmen were all gone, lord lord lord
And he took some more catches, lord lord lord

I went home happy, lord lord lord
I went home happy, lord lord lord

That’s the story of big Ben Stokes, lord lord lord
That’s the story of big Ben Stokes, lord loooord looooorrrrd.

Vivo IPL 2017 M44 - SRH v RPS

Now stare at the photo while listening to this song.

 

fantastic-mr-fox5

 

Me and the opposite sex

Adam: Did you know that Hyenas roam the streets of Addis Ababa the way dogs roam our impoverished neighborhoods? Can you imagine being in a situation where you are walking down a street of your city at night and a pack of rabid Hyenas goes screaming past you?

Eve: Hmm, I am never going to that place.

Adam: You should really make time to listen to BBC’s From Our Own Correspondents podcast. It’s amazing.

Eve: My boyfriend sucks. I asked him for a new handbag, and he said he couldn’t. Could you get me a new handbag? We could go shopping together! 😉

=================================

A: Hey, wassup?

E: Just looking at some of the photos from the Ukraine protests. They’re so beautiful.

A: I didn’t know you were into geopolitics. Am a big fan of geopolitics.

E: Oh, a friend sent me the link.

A: The Western media likes to make a big fuss to further the geo-strategic cause of their nations. Like in the Syrian crisis, the number of displaced is 2.5 mn. It sounds like a lot but when you compare to the 100mn Chinese who were displaced as a result of the Japanese invasion during the WWII, it doesn’t seem like a lot, does it?

E: 🙂

A: I am not saying I am more perceptive than the Western media but sometimes I get the feeling that I am more wedded to truth and neutrality than they are.

E: Hmm

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E: What are you doing up so late? :O

A: Waiting for the game to start. These daylight savings are ruining my beauty sleep, I must say.

E: Daylight what? Can’t you find anything more worthwhile than staying up to watch soccer?

A: Like chatting with a boyfriend? 😛

E: You don’t know how to talk to a lady. Take some tips from your little brother.

A: And it’s not soccer, it’s FOOTBALL!

E: Whatever.

==========================

A: Hey there, want to go see a movie this week? You might not like it but it’s going to be really good.

E: Who’s in it?

A: That’s immaterial. Fincher directed it.

E: Fincher?

A: Yeah, Fight Club.

E: Yuck! I’d rather go see Our Faults in the Stars.

A: Seriously? That movie’s got an 8% rating on the tomatometer.

E: I don’t care what this tomamameter is. I just loved the book.

A: Are you kidding me? That book’s downright terrible.

E: Snob.

A: Oh lord, When will these masses learn to respect their entertainment and come to appreciate true quality?

E: It’s just entertainment dude. Chill the fuck down.

A: I take it you are the type of person who texts during a movie?

E: Yeah, I have to let my friends know about how boring the Fincher movie is.

A: You are a piece of trash, you know that?

E: Bye darling. You are not worthy of my time.

======================

E: Aww, I just got gifted this cute new puppy for my birthday.

A: Happy Birthday!

E: You didn’t wish me since morning?!

A: That’s right. I don’t get this celebrating birthdays fad.

E: How’s being miserable coming along?

A: It’s so darn wonderful. You should try it sometime.

E: I am really enjoying this conversation.

A: The person who gifted you that puppy, all they want is for you to feel miserable 12 years down the line. Think of it as a down payment.

E: I am going to go bang my head against a wall. Brb.

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//The names Adam and Eve are a nod to the movie Only Lovers Left Alive starring Tom Hiddleston and Tilda Swinton.

//The reason for this post is this.

 

Baumol Effect

Hey man, what’s up nowadays?

Nothing much.You know, just sitting on my arse all day and spending the parents’ money when I get off it.

Cool.

It ain’t cool man. Look at you with your own money and living on your own and going out and meeting people and partying every weekend.

Hey Rajiv! how are you?

Nice meeting you (spoken hurriedly while looking at a receding back).

——X—-X—-

Hey Idiot, doing anything these days?

No man, same old.

That’s sad, why don’t you do something?

You see man, IIIT has left me facing a dead-end. The alley that leads up to this dead-end is a very narrow one and the car I’m driving is very large. So it’s only natural that it takes time for me to reverse and join the freeway and you know, get back to doing stuff.

Why don’t you write for a newspaper?

——-x——–x———

Hey dude! what are you going to do now?

Prepare for Civils, go to Delhi perhaps.

Aren’t there any other exams?

There are.

Why go to a college like IIIT and do engineering then?

Don’t know.

—-x——x——-

It’s been 3 months since college ended and almost all my batch-mates have moved on. During this time, I have never once felt envious of those enrolled for further studies, be it how esteemed their institute may be. There have, however, been days when I felt I’d have been better off working and earning money and spending money.

Those days however were before I came to know about unemployment benefits in the USA. 1200$ or Rs. 55,000 per month is what they come up to. That’s almost higher than what is considered a good salary for us beginners over here. An employed (below-par) American, meanwhile, earns in a week what an (above-par) Indian earns in a month. For all I know, the Indian works twice as hard, braving temperatures twice as high and traffic twice as worse, while not getting any action (if you know what I mean).

Of course, you will be jumping up and down to point out the difference in the costs of living, and of course, it is true that with 55,000 rupees you can live quite handsomely, whereas be only marginally better than a vagrant with 1200$. But what’s also true is that electronic goods cost the same there and here. What this essentially means is, an American can buy the same appliances with a week’s salary what an Indian can with a months’ salary. Right now, I need money for goods, all the services I desire are provided for. So, why will I ever take up a corporate job in India?

Baumol effect: The idea that services become relatively more expensive as economies develop, and that manufactured goods become relatively less expensive. (borrowed from the dictionary of economics)

Those comic strips you come across featuring beggars with iPads while having no money for food, aren’t that far-fetched afterall. At least, not as ludicrous as my whims 😛