Andy Murray: Man or Machine?

The suspect

Remember ‘Space Jam’? The Michael Jordan movie where the Looney Tunes family challenge the alien invaders to a game of basketball to determine their future as slaves or not slaves? Remember that Hrithik Roshan movie where there was something similar?

Watching Murray v Djokovic reminded me of something like that. It was like as if the machines and humans had nominated one of their own and were tussling for the upper-hand. On the one hand, we had Djokovic coming up with equal measures of brilliance and mistakes, and on the other, we had Murray doing nothing apart from looking to minimize mistakes, playing a solid serve game, and not going for any flamboyant winners (read: winners). The only colorful thing about Murray was the colorful language he employed while admonishing himself. Was that a feature added by machines to make him appear more emotional and ergo, human? That and the blisters. They could have just stuck some spare human tissue, lying around left behind from his creation, up there for all we know. Come to think of it, even Murray’s girl looks like a robot designed by robots to appear human.

The more I think about it the more intrigued I am about how a Murray winner looks like. Even when he bullied Federer over the course of 5 sets, that was largely thanks to his powerful strokes, reliable serve, and defensive prowess. Were there any innovative plays on display from his side that couldn’t have been innovated before hand and fed into him? I don’t think so. Sure, there were a few bugs hindering his performances early on in his career but they only served to align his course of development with that of his human peers, and thereby taking care of any suspicion that might have arisen if that had not been the case.

The presence of these bugs raises another interesting question. Was Murray the machine designed by machines themselves or was he designed by humans hired and kept as slaves by the machines? If we are to assume he was created by the machines, then we’d also have to assume that those bugs were a deliberate ploy designed to keep us humans in the dark, since we all very well know that machines don’t make mistakes unless they want to, like in this case.

As for machines hiring humans, this could be happening already, that too in the open. What if Eric Schmidt, Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, Steve Jobs et al are replicants* sent by humans from exo-planets with the aim of colonizing us? First, they “develop” a technology, then they offer us a pay package we can’t refuse, then they enslave us.  What is the end point of this enslavement, you ask? I say world peace. With the rise of these multinational corporations, and increasing economic linkages between countries, and globalization and cultural homogenization, more and more countries are disinclined towards warfare. The humans who sent us these replicant masters may in fact be looking out for us (their brothers) and liberating us from the trauma of world wars.

This could also explain the coming onto the scene of nuclear technologies which, if anything, have acted as a further deterrent  to war**. Yes, the replicants sent by the humans from another mother (planets are mothers and humans of a plant are its children obviously) provided us with nuclear technology to take care of us is what I am saying. My original motive was to start a petition demanding the subjection of the likes of Schmidt and Zuckerberg and Bill Gates to a Voight-Kampff test, but having subsequently discovered their noble intentions, I am less inclined so now.

Where does Murray stand amidst all this then? The replicants discussed above are involved in more crucial matters like war and peace, and have little or no time for trivial sport contests. Maybe that  makes him a simple machine built by the gambling mafia.

P.s: This post was written more than a week ago and placed in a time capsule. I apologize to the 3 unlucky readers who’re likely to stumble upon this post, but I’m guessing only 1 of you will last long enough to read the apology.

*Replicants are an intellectual property of Phillip k. Dick, as far as I understand; seen originally in Blade Runner.

**By war, I mean that conventional sort between two nations.



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