“Hey, how about a movie tomorrow morning”, ” No man, i’ve got an appointment with my dentist”.
Truth be told, i haven’t been able to turn down any such request over the past 3 months and this impending visit to the dentist gave me an opportunity to do so but sadly not one soul was free to ask me in the first place. That in essence has been the story of this vacation, me searching for a companion only to find out that each one of them is busy with some project/ internship/ some other equally important “career building” errand.
Anyway, this was my first trip to a dentist (technically it was the second trip, i had gone yesterday but right at the moment when the machine* was about to make an impression, there was a power cut, so i had to return with no work done) and i have to say that i must have seen one a lot earlier considering the condition of some of my teeth which have been in a despicable condition right since my high school days. Maybe “despicable” ain’t the right term to describe their condition but i don’t want to get into all those details since it might make a piece of unnecessarily disturbing information for those interested in me 🙂 (cheeky)
So why did it take all these years to visit a dentist ? It was due to a certain gentleman named Ogden Nash who so convincingly dismissed a trip to a dentist as a painful experience. I wouldn’t call the experience painful but when i come to think about it, it does leave me bit uneasy. In fact, at one stage the smell emanating from the procedure was so stifling that it reminded of a boat trip taken down to Lord Buddha.
Here’s the man (not Lord Buddha but Mr.Nash) himself speaking:-
This is gonna hurt just a lil bit
One thing I like less than most things is sitting in a dentist chair with my mouth wide open.
And that I will never have to do it again is a hope that I am against hope hopen.
Because some tortures are physical and some are mental,
But the one that is both is dental.
It is hard to be self-possessed
With your jaw digging into your chest.
So hard to retain your calm
When your fingernails are making serious alterations in your life line or love line or some other important line in your palm;
So hard to give your usual effect of cheery benignity
When you know your position is one of the two or three in life most lacking in dignity.
And your mouth is like a section of road that is being worked on.
And it is all cluttered up with stone crushers and concrete mixers and drills and steam rollers and there isn’t a nerve in your head that you aren’t being irked on.
Oh, some people are unfortunate enough to be strung up by thumbs.
And others have things done to their gums,
And your teeth are supposed to be being polished,
But you have reason to believe they are being demolished.
And then at last he says That will be all; but it isn’t because he then coats your mouth from cellar to roof
With something that I suspect is generally used to put a shine on a horse’s hoof.
And you totter to your feet and think. Well it’s all over now and afterall it was only this once.
And he says come back in three monce.
And this, O Fate, is I think the most vicious circle that thou ever sentest,
That Man has to go continually to the dentist to keep his teeth in good condition
when the chief reason he wants his teeth in good condition
is so that he won’t have to go to the dentist.
p.s 1:- A portion of the poem has been edited out
p.s 2 :- For those interested in me , there’s no reason for you to feel betrayed since my teeth are back in prime and you can duly forget that this post ever existed.
p.s 3:- I’m currently reading “Midnight’s Children” which indulges in the usage of narrative difficult to comprehend. I don’t know how much it influenced me but the result is there for you to see.
Song of the day :- Teddy Picker (Arctic Monkeys)