A collection of worthless passages make this one….Worth a skip

Today might be Tuesday but i am writing about Monday because it happens to occur only once a week where as Tuesday is just another day of the week, just like Monday. Actually there isn’t much of a difference between the two days apart from the fact that one of them always occurs before the other.

The above passage would have been my entry for the “Worst Opening Passage” competition held by Reader’s Digest in the past month. Unfortunately, i came to know about it only after the results were announced and thus the presence. Anyway you can find the winner in this month’s edition or even better, you can find it right here, right now.

Gerald began–but was interrupted by a piercing whistle which cost him ten percent of his hearing permanently, as it did everyone else in a ten-mile radius of the eruption, not that it mattered much because for them “permanently” meant the next ten minutes or so until buried by searing lava or suffocated by choking ash–to pee.

(By the way, i write these, days of the week with a capital letter to avoid this text editor’s ire which is the case otherwise)

Let’s talk about Monday now. It is the day on which i wake the earliest, for i am at home and i have to attend a class at 10:00 in the college. I usually wake up at around 8:00 and then, promptly turn on the T.V to watch VH1’s ” good morning”/ breakfast segment which is worth a watch as it features the latest music videos.

However, the most noticeable difference between Mondays and the other days of the week happens to be my increased affinity for the bathroom/john/loo/powder room on this particular day. I had earlier thought that this phenomenon was the consequence of my diet on sunday which predominantly comprises of non-veg items. However, this time around my woes have continued well in to Tuesday. It’s kind of surprising because i had skipped the customary non-veg meal this week-end.

So, what this proves is that non-veg items aren’t the ones to be blamed, instead my whole appetite on week-ends, is. The actual reason as i see, happens to be that, i eat very less on week-days in college that my digestive tract has become incapable of digesting all the thrash i dump down it during the week-end, having got acclamatized to the scant intake on the other days . So that solves the mystery of “Monday Motions Mania”. ( Guess this one would’ve made a better entry 🙂 )

Speaking of toilets, i happen to recollect an inscription inside a toilet of a train which went something like:-

duniya pahunch gayi hai chand par

aur thu khada hai yahain, apna ……. pakadkar

Disclaimer:-

In case you are thinking of banging your head after reading this, that too is worth a skip 🙂 .

Advertisements

2 Replies to “A collection of worthless passages make this one….Worth a skip”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s