Interview Blues – 1

At long last December has arrived and has brought with it a sense of purpose into the lives of some of us .  I, by the way ain’t one of “us” for i am still quite immature, incapable, irresponsible and thereby indifferent to the demands of the professional world. Anyway, this happens to be the month of interviews, formal attires, no satires and lots of other things which i don’t know about 😦  .

So, let us quickly move on to things i know about and try to work our way from there (don’t i sound like your teacher)

Let me illustrate a not so typical interview

The victims ‘Dud(e)’ walk in to be interviewed by Mr.H 

scene 1 :- (skip on to scene 2, if short on time)

h- please be seated

dude- of course dude, the last thing i need is to stand through this torture

dud- thank you sir

(Dud stifles a yawn, dude yawns)

h-  what are u doing

dud- oh, nothing sir

dude- just wanted you to know how i really feel about you and your company

h- that was a yawn, wasn’t it ?

dud- i was so excited (yawns….. again) about this opportunity that i could hardly sleep

dude- what else can it be Einstein? does it look like i am opening my mouth asking to be fed

[Guess it would be more simpler for both you and me if Dud were eliminated, so..]

scene 2:-

h ->  How would you describe yourself?

dude -> i am the type of person your boss asked you to stay away from

h -> What specific goals, including those related to your occupation, have you established for your life?

dude -> to skip as many jobs as possible, the buck stops only where there are more bucks

h ->  How has your college experience prepared you for a business career?

dude ->it has taught me virtually nothing, so i guess you have my whole gray matter to work upon, more resources you see

h -> Please describe the ideal job for you following graduation

dude -> i haven’t come across any ideal job as such, have you?

h -> What influenced you to choose this career?

dude -> money of course

h -> At what point did you choose this career?

dude -> well, it was certainly before i met you

h -> What specific goals have you established for your career?

dude -> haven’t you asked this already

h ->  What do you think it takes to be successful in this career?

dude -> go and ask your boss !!, aren’t you ashamed to ask your sub-ordinates

h ->  How do you determine or evaluate success? Give me an example of one of your successful accomplishments.

dude -> it all depends on the bank balance at the end of the day. I have managed to keep a straight face so far and that’s an accomplishment in itself

h-> Do you have the qualifications and personal characteristics necessary for success in your chosen career?

dude -> you wouldn’t have invited me otherwise, would you?

h -> If you could do so, how would you plan your college career differently?

dude-> as far as i can see, this college has only been useful as a meeting place, so i guess i would have rented this same room some 4 years ago to organize a meeting with your highness.

h -> Would you describe yourself as goal-driven?

me (interfering)-> i guess time’s up, so see you all tomorrow

ps:-

The dud(e) character has been adopted from my earlier post “Confessions of an insecure dud(e)”. You might well want to get acquainted with the characters.

I guess this series will drag on for a couple more days. In case of any boredom, do feel free to intimate me

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Author: rahul

I am a student . That's short and sour in itself.

6 thoughts on “Interview Blues – 1”

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