How the actions of one TV conglomerate are affecting our unity and denying us our viewing pleasures

For the sake of this post, let’s define Upper Class as those who have access to both Ten Action and Ten HD, Middle Class as those who have access to Ten Action but  not Ten HD, and Lower Class as those who have access to neither Ten Action nor Ten HD. It’s a given that all 3 classes have access to Ten Sports.

Our society which was egalitarian and founded on the principles of equality till a couple of years ago started developing fissures and subsequently got divided into haves and have-nots following the introduction of Ten Action. This move left many consigned to make do with “second best” offerings. The general populace didn’t bother and rise in revolt as the “first choice” usually broadcast matches of a team which no one bothers to watch unless there’s a chance of them slipping up and having their backs handed to them. This happened at the time of last year’s final and some of us planned on taking the charity route to make amends, as you must be aware of.

But starting this year, the number of classes have proliferated thanks to the advent of Ten HD, and in the meanwhile Ten Action became more readily available; thus spawning a new ever-expanding division of Middle Class.

To get a taste of the varying privileges of these classes sample what happened in the early hours of 23rd November 2011. The Lower Class got to see Bayern Munich vs Villareal; one club had already qualified and the other was already well on its way out. The Middle Class, in addition to that match got to see Louis XVI slip on a banana peel and the Upper Class took the cake in the form of Napoli vs Manchester City. In other words, the Upper Class got to witness a Roman amphitheateresque war of gladiators replete with the hostile environment, the Middle Class got to see a Monarch(whom everybody hates) get beheaded (well, not quite) and the Lower Class was left with a battle of clowns.

Guess football isn’t a poor man’s game anymore. What we need to do now is to occupy White Hart Lane, block off access to Stamford Bridge and set up (Nou) camps till equality is restored.

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